True confession: when I was pregnant for the first time 14 years ago, I dreamed of little girls with braids in their hair and baby dolls. I imagined them playing house, baking cookies and reading Little House on the Prairie.
As a girly-girl and one of five sisters, I assumed naturally that I would have little girls. But God had other plans. The baby boys arrived, one at a time, until there were 4 of them!
At first, I wondered how I could possibly parent a boy.
I was squeamish around bugs, worms and snakes, didn’t care for sports, and was just about as ensconced in my girl-world as I could be. I knew nothing of construction vehicles or tree climbing.
You can see just how narrow my focus was at that point. As if girls never climb trees and all boys love bugs!
So as the boys came along, we figured things out together.
And I was stretched outside my comfort zone on a daily basis. At first, it was challenging, but eventually I learned to accept my nature-loving boys’ interest in spiders, snakes and fishing.
God is still working on me, but I have come to the point where I run for the camera when one of my kids catches a snake (like last week) instead of running for the safety of the house. Since my boys are true nature-lovers, I’ve learned to appreciate all things wildlife including worms, fish and spiders.
I can catch a football, kick a soccer ball and appreciate when my boys learn how to safely handle Airsoft guns. I love them for the strong young men they are growing to be.
When people learn I’m a mom to 4 boys, they often give me looks of pity or raise their eyebrows and say things like “You’ve sure got your hands full!”
I guess some people don’t have much patience for the noise and mess that inevitably comes with 4 boys. I admit – they are loud! But there’s no need for pity. I can honestly say there’s no regret now for me that I don’t have a little girl who calls me mom.
Here’s why: it’s all about relationships.
I think the thing I was most concerned about was having a connection with my kids. Without having any experience with little boys, I assumed it would be easier with daughters.
Now I realize relationships and family connections are built on love and attention, not gender. I have plenty in common with my boys. Guess what – I’ve discovered I love exploring the outdoors with them! They love baking cookies and they even let me read Little House to them as long as there’s enough hunting involved. They are a huge help around the house. We’ve built our relationships together since day one and it’s the most natural thing in the world.
I’m still not a tom-girl.
I refuse to bait a hook. I do not care for dinnertime belching contests. At times, the testosterone in my house is more than I think I can take, but I do thank God every day for my four sons. They are exactly what He planned for me and I am so grateful for them.
So to all you moms of little boys out there, if you’re wondering how you will ever raise a boy to be a man, just know that it’s about love and relationship. If you focus on those two, the rest will follow.
Are you a mom to a boy?
Were you surprised by the arrival of a son or did you always expect it would be that way? I’d love to hear about your experience.
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